1. Find the Creek Thing
The Creek Thing is a kind of famous thing among Fredonia students who like to go to the creek for recreational activities. Some say that the Creek Thing is our own special big foot! I’ve never seen it with my own eyes, but if you look hard enough you might just find it.
The creek is a great place to go when your RAs are begging you to go off campus to engage in certain activities. If you find the right spot, it’s actually kind of beautiful. It’s enjoyed by many students living on campus, and is something that is passed down from generation to generation. Go to the creek with your friends, and try to find the mysterious “creek thing.”
2. Get a Yik Yak hook up
If you’re ever in a tough spot, try to find a Yik Yak hook up! It is definitely not weird or creepy. People LOVE to see posts asking for a hook up, and you will for sure get multiple offers.
Asking for a hook up on Yik Yak means that you’re asserting dominance over your peers. Make sure to go in depth about the experience that you’re looking for. The more detailed, the better.
No one will make fun of you for it. I promise. Tell your friends about it.
And don’t get discouraged in the unlikely event that enough people downvote your offer that it gets taken down. That just means you need to try harder. Try adding some suggestive emojis to your post to really get the point across.
3. Try and find a certain professor (yes, that one)
For those unaware, there was a certain situation a couple years back that ended in the kind of firing of a philosophy professor here at Fredonia. I say kind of firing because I’m not entirely sure if he’s officially fired or not.
My sources (Yik Yak) tell me that he was spotted at one of the bars in town a couple months ago. If you do find him, go up to him and ask him how he’s doing. I’m sure whatever he has to say is really intelligent and full of good motive.
In fact, ask him about what he’s been up to lately. Invite him to your podcast.
And if you don’t like what he has to say, there’s really nothing you can do about it. First Amendment rights and whatnot.
4. Add a new major or minor
There are so many majors and minors here at Fredonia that may interest you! Too bad that a bunch of them are getting discontinued.
But it’s not like that’s harming anyone, right? Besides, topics such as philosophy and sociology that teach critical thinking and logic aren’t that important anyways.
Neither are ceramics or sculpture. SUNY Fredonia already has a great art department, and is even accredited by the National Association of Schools of Art and Design. We can definitely keep that without half of the Visual Arts and New Media programs.
While I’m at it, we don’t even need the language programs either. It’s not like knowing a second language is a valuable skill to have. It’s especially useless when going into teaching, which must be why the French and Spanish adolescent education programs are also getting cut.
Fredonia also offers many minor programs. As long as you aren’t interested in computer information systems or earth science or economics or French or industrial organizational psychology or international studies or math or philosophy or web programming, you should be fine!
5. Take a hot girl walk
It might be cold, but a hot girl walk stops for nothing and no one.
Not even the mountains of snow that accumulate on campus, or the ice that covers pretty much every sidewalk to get to the academic buildings. If a hot girl needs to walk, then a hot girl walks.
Don’t be afraid of slipping on ice, because there are buckets of salt in seemingly every building. It’s definitely getting used and keeps our campus safe.
If you’ve ever witness someone slip and fall around campus, just know that there’s absolutely zero chance it could happen to you. It was probably a problem on their end. They must not have been wearing the right shoes.
SUNY Fredonia knows that the crazy snowstorms can pose a threat to students, and makes sure to keep the sidewalks clear so that no one can ever say they can’t make it to class because of the snow. In my time here, classes have only ever been cancelled three times.
If walking on campus was really that big of a threat to the students, staff, and faculty here, then classes would absolutely be cancelled more often. That just proves how safe it is to walk on campus during a snow storm. There is nothing to be afraid of.
You will not slip on ice and fall. Go to class.
